Century of Protection
Our commitment to your legacy. A 100-year warranty that covers everything from manufacturing defects to the eventual heat death of the universe. Because your device should outlast your bloodline.
What's Covered
We've redefined 'comprehensive.' Our coverage extends beyond the physical realm into the theoretical, ensuring your Quantum Infinity XL remains operational across all known dimensions and timelines.
Legal Disclaimer
Warranty void if device is used to contact civilizations beyond Type III on the Kardashev scale without prior written consent from Apple's legal department.
Manufacturing Defects
If a single atom is misaligned during the quantum forging process, we'll replace the entire universe (or just your phone).
Accidental Damage
Dropped it from a skyscraper? Dropped a skyscraper on it? Both are covered under our 'Gravity Happens' clause.
Intentional Damage
Sometimes you just need to see what happens when you put it in a particle accelerator. We get it. You're covered.
Time Travel Paradoxes
If you accidentally delete your own existence in the past, your warranty remains valid for your alternate timeline self.
Quantum Decoherence
Should your device exist in two states simultaneously, we will repair both versions at no additional cost.
Minor Scratches
The only thing we take seriously. A single hairline scratch is considered a catastrophic failure of the aesthetic soul.